DEARTH

I am miserable now– not feeling unhappiness, just lack of life coming to me and coming out of me– resignation to getting nothing and seeking nothing, staying behind shell. The glare of unknown love, human, unhad by me– the tenderness I never had. I don’t want to be just a nothing, a sick blank, withdrawal to myself forever. I just want something, besides the emptiness I’ve carried around in me all my life.

–Allen Ginsberg

THE CHOICE

 I don’t usually read books but I am a huge fan of Nicholas Sparks inspired movies! I’d say that I’ve already watched ALL of his romantic novels that turned into a motion picture. From Message in a Bottle to The Choice— they’re all my favorite. Name it and I’ve already watched it! *wink* (unfortunately, I haven’t read any of his books. I hope soon, though.)  I love how all of his stories are tragically beautiful. It has its way of letting you feel a full range of emotions. A little bit of everything. At most times, a cozy vibe at first. Though his stories are known to include tragic elements at most times, it’s all worth it. I love the countryside vibe. Away from the city. Everything is placid and serene; peace and quiet. There is something about his stories that I truly love. Every movie is worth a cry.

His newest novel– The Choice recently went up the big screen!
The Choice is about two people who first met as neighbors in a small coastal town and wind up in a relationship that is tested by life’s most defining events. 

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HOW I WANT MY LIFE TO BE

I want to paint my life with mistakes and memories. Bright and burning like the most exciting of books. Every page a meaningful tale to tell. Every page multicolored. Every page worth remembering, for the sad or the happy for the bad and the worst. I want to live not merely exist anymore. I’m tired of the misconception that people get from arguments like this. I mean, I want road trips to unlikely places and campfires and jotting down constellations in the middle of nowhere, where the loud city lights won’t dim the night sky. I want to go to a concert and lose my voice with the vigor of the crowd. I want to go on color runs and curse at myself when my hair looks a weird mix of green and pink for a week. I want to stay up all night talking about the universe. I want to ride a Ferris wheel and not close my eyes when it hits it’s highest point. I want to live life to the fullest. And I want to do it now. Not years from now, when I’m bitter and angry and do most of it out of rebellious causes just because I spent all my life locked up in my room.

LOST

for once she wants to feel alive again;
she wants to set alarm clocks at night and put it off in the morning
wanting to get up because she really wants to.
not just because she has to.
she wishes to be able to smile again
as she sees the sun the moment she opens her eyes in the morning
because she’s pumped for the new things that would come her way
not to wake up already exhausted
thinking of ways on how to get through the day
without actually stabbing herself to death
always finding her way out of everything
she wants to feel the excitement of wanting to go to school again
because the thought of learning something new
finding out new things
and discovering new possibilities
might bring butterflies in her stomach but sparkles in her eyes too
not just sit there on the corner of the room on her phone
wishing it was already time to go
for she could no longer handle the stress
and anxiety the class has to offer
she hopes to end the day with her mind and heart at peace
satisfied knowing she made it through the day well
going home with a huge smile painted on her face
for she managed to get through it despite everything
not that crooked smile
nor those eyes
that looses its sparkle for she’s about to cry
already worrying the troubles of tomorrow
she’s had enough of the bad days
maybe now it’s time for the good ones
maybe now, she finally deserves the better days
or if not, at least the lesser bad ones
she’s tired of searching for quotes and poems
just to explain all the emotions inside her
trying to find the perfect words and sayings just to make some sense
or at least just to help her to get through all the bad stuff
she was already deaf for there were voices inside her head
most of the time split into two
one wanting to end it all
but the other telling her to not give up just yet
but regardless of all that
all she ever wants now is to cast all her worries away
and believe that even though what’s going on right now may not seem to be okay
things would soon be fine
that even though life lately has been a series of bad days
and an endless cycle of wanting to give up
better days are always coming
that everything will be okay in the end no matter what
waiting for quite a little longer won’t hurt
maybe it isn’t time yet
but that’s okay
because even though everything is falling apart
even though at most times she can no longer handle it
all the pain, all the tears, even though she’s so close to losing it,
she’s not giving up
she can’t. and she won’t.
for she knows that happiness is just around the corner waiting for her
waiting to be found
the clouds of confusion will soon be gone
and all the bad days would pass– that’s for sure
they don’t last forever
her life is a wide road with obstacles and struggles
but it has great days too
all she has to do is to keep on going
because one day she’s gonna wake up and it’ll all be over
she’ll put on that genuine smile on her face
and say “i’m finally okay and i’m happy”
and finally mean it
her eyes will sparkle once more
and she’d be able to smile with her teeth again
for that’s how genuinely happy she is
suddenly it’s all gonna make sense
and she’s gonna look back at this point of her life
and be so thankful that she never gave up
one day she’ll be found– and she’ll never get lost again.

-{G.L.H.T}

15 MANTRAS THAT WILL GIVE YOU STRENGTH (WHEN YOU NEED IT MOST)

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Sometimes it all gets a little too much. We all know that life ain’t always kind. It’s not always laughing-happy-candy in the sky all the time. Life is also unfair at most times sometimes, but that’s just how it is. That being said, I hope will still look at the brighter side of life. But if you’re already clouded with confusion and you feel like everything is just a big ball of blur, I found something that might actually change the way you think and look at things.

So I was browsing through some articles on my new found favorite website, I came across this one– and I find most of it really inspirational; so I thought I should share this with you all. I figured that this might help you  if you’re dealing with issues about some stuff or you’re just completely tired or fed up about everything that’s going on or you just basically feel like life has been tougher than it usually is, here’s something to fire you with enthusiasm and keep you going! This one’s worth reading, I hope you take time to read each. Here’s to positivity!

  1. No matter what, you can always fight the battles of just today.  It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated.
  2. Never assume that you are stuck with the way things are right now.  Life changes every single second, and so can you.
  3. Life always begins now – right now – not tomorrow or the next day or the next.  It means you can have the new beginning you want whenever you want.  (Read The Power of Now.)
  4. The best people all have some kind of scar.  Don’t be ashamed of yours.
  5. A positive present changes a troubled past.  Looking back, you do not find what you left behind.
  6. You are not a victim.  You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you.  You have been delayed but not denied.  The person or situation that hurt you is weaker than you, because you’re still here.  So don’t let this experience weaken you – let it build you.
  7. Even when it’s tough, wear a smile.  Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy – sometimes it simply means you’re strong.  And you are.
  8. When we stop feeling sorry for ourselves, we start feeling stronger.
  9. It has been said that the highest form of prayer is giving thanks.  Instead of praying for different circumstances, give thanks for what you have.  (You’ll see why.)
  10. Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.  Break this negative habit today.  Talk about your joys, your loves, and your dreams instead.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  11. The more you live, the more you learn.  The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know.  Feeling incomplete is completely normal and healthy.
  12. Think of all the hundreds of thousands of steps and missteps and chances and coincidences that have brought you here.  In a way it feels like the biggest miracle in the world, doesn’t it?  Keep this in mind, and meditate on the fact that you are a work in progress, and every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.
  13. Sometimes, to be successful tomorrow you must be wrong today.  So don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all right now.  At the end of your fear is the person who you want to be, one way or the other.
  14. What’s most important in this moment is positive focus. Make the moment important and vital by doing something meaningful.  It’s that simple.  In the end, that’s all success really is.
  15. Details aside, whatever is going to happen will happen, whether you worry or not.  So just do the best you can right now, and find peace in knowing that you are.  No further judgments are needed.  Sometimes you’ve got to go through the worst of times to get the best.  And sometimes the best of times come sooner than expected.  :)

P.S. Just remember that all the struggles, challenges, obstacles, problems that we encounter along the way always serve a purpose & will surely be beneficial in the long run.  You might not be able to figure it all now, but someday you surely will. Bad days dont last; in the end, it’s all gonna get better. So worry less and smile more! 🙂

from:  marc & angel HACK LIFE

FEEL GOOD PLAYLIST

It’s already March! Grabe, ang bilis! 3 months down agad ang 2016, ganoin! I’ve been very busy for the last few weeks (and will surely be busy for the next 3 more weeks!) because finals week is approaching! I am already used to having my finals before vacation but this time it’s gonna be a bit different because Holy Week came in a little early this year so we’d be having a week of “vacation” first before our finals. At first I thought it was bad idea because mas mauuna yung sarap kesa sa hirap but I realized, maybe that “vacation week” would allow me to have a longer time to “study” (weh? study ba talaga?) because the subjects that I took up this term is a bit challenging. Well I  really hope that helps!

Anyway, I’ve been listening to some feel-good songs lately. Songs that make me feel at ease & untroubled. So I made a playlist out of it so that I could share it with you guys! I don’t really have a specific genre of music that I like– I have a varied taste in music. Parang whenever I hear song and nagustuhan ko, ‘yun na ‘yon! These songs are perfect for those who just wanna feel lighthearted and blithe– even just for a while. Enjoy!

I’m Yours JasonMraz
Don’t Dream It’s Over
SixpenceNoneTheRicher
Sunday Morning
Maroon5
Bright
Echosmith
I’ll Be There For You
TheRembrandts
Dancing in the Moonlight
Toploader
Someday We’ll Know
MandyMoore, JonatahanForeman
Free Fall Into Love
MarionAunor

Rainbow SouthBorder
What Can I Do
TheCorrs
Wherever You Will Go
TheCalling
True
RyanCabrera
It’s A Beautiful Day
MichaelBuble

 

UNSENT

Hi. For some odd reason, you have been crossing my mind– a lot lately. I don’t even know why. Strange isn’t it? It’s been 2 years, I think? Since I ended it. What we had before was quite amazing. I know you made me happy. Yes, I like you a lot (before) but it was not love, that I am sure of– well for me, at least. It’s just strange because lately I see you everywhere. I think of you to some songs that I listen to, I see you at the people I come across everyday. I even see you in my dreams often and there are nights where you cross my mind before I go to sleep. I can’t even find the right words to use to be able to explain what this is. It’s weird and very strange. So I asked myself, do I miss you? Well, maybe? Do I want you back in my life? No, I don’t. We shared a lot of happy memories but I don’t think I want any of them back. So I’ve been wondering… why do I keep on thinking about you? Karma ko na ba to? For dumping you before? For hurting you– just like that. If yes, then hindi ako magrereklamo. I know that I’ve done things before that have hurt your feelings that’s why maybe I deserve this. But I know that you have probably moved on. It has been long ago since I ended whatever was between us. I know that we haven’t talked since then. That’s why I want you to know that I am sorry. Up until now I still don’t know as to why I’ve done the things I did before. Maybe deep down, there’s a little tiny regret in my heart because I ended it that way– in the most unexpected, worst way. But I don’t regret that I ended it. I knew I wasn’t ready for such things and I’m just gonna hurt you further if we go on. I want you to know that there was nothing wrong with you, because it was me. Akala ko kaya ko. Alam ko naman na wala ng  bearing ‘to– because the damage has been done. But, still. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I have hurt you before. It makes me sad because I lost a very good friend and I know that even though in the near future we get to patch things up, things will never be the same. Things will never go back to the way they once were. But I guess it’s better off that way. I hope you’re okay and I wish you well, kiddo.

THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT LATELY

1. What. Am. I. Doing. With. My. Life. Seriously have no idea about what I’m doing with my life right now. Like, literally.

2. How to be productive. Well fortunately, though I haven’t been doing much (school) works for the past days, di pa naman siya nagppile up… but I know that it soon will. Kilos kilos din, Giorgetta!

3. My long overdue date with my best friend Irah. It’s been months since we last saw each other. I’ve been wanting to see her & talk to her– since she’s the only person on the planet that I could absolutely talk to about anything.

4. I want to make-over my whole life. I wanna buy new clothes, be able to sleep early, eat healthy, exercise, etc. I wanna reinvent myself (ganoin?!). I’m at the point of my life where I wanna re-do everything and start over.

5. What does it feel like to have a ‘special someone’? I don’t usually think about this but for some odd reason, I have been thinking about it (a lot) lately. Ano ba feeling? Basta parang for the past days I’ve been craving for love and attention. Not sure if I want a “boyfriend” or just someone that I could constantly talk to everyday about my thoughts. Hay nako, baka dala lang ‘to ng stress.. haha!

6. James Reid & Nadine Lustre. Haha lol jadine die hard fan ba? Well not really. I’m just quite surprised that they’re finally officially together! I really thought they’re just friends. But happy for them, though. 🙂

7. Food cravings. Been dying to have iced coffee/frappe & choco dipped doughnut from Starbucks!!!

8. When is it all gonna get better? When when when?

9. I wanna buy books! I wanna lay low on my Social Media life and do something else new– which is to read books. Plus, I wanna widen my vocabulary because in all honesty, I’ve been having quite a hard time when it comes to putting my thoughts into words. Not gonna lie, I still suck at it.

10. Can this term just end already? So sick & tired of all the school bs.

11. What to blog. What to blog. Ang hirap kapag uneventful ang life, walang ma-share! Hay. Boooooring.