UNSENT

Hi. For some odd reason, you have been crossing my mind– a lot lately. I don’t even know why. Strange isn’t it? It’s been 2 years, I think? Since I ended it. What we had before was quite amazing. I know you made me happy. Yes, I like you a lot (before) but it was not love, that I am sure of– well for me, at least. It’s just strange because lately I see you everywhere. I think of you to some songs that I listen to, I see you at the people I come across everyday. I even see you in my dreams often and there are nights where you cross my mind before I go to sleep. I can’t even find the right words to use to be able to explain what this is. It’s weird and very strange. So I asked myself, do I miss you? Well, maybe? Do I want you back in my life? No, I don’t. We shared a lot of happy memories but I don’t think I want any of them back. So I’ve been wondering… why do I keep on thinking about you? Karma ko na ba to? For dumping you before? For hurting you– just like that. If yes, then hindi ako magrereklamo. I know that I’ve done things before that have hurt your feelings that’s why maybe I deserve this. But I know that you have probably moved on. It has been long ago since I ended whatever was between us. I know that we haven’t talked since then. That’s why I want you to know that I am sorry. Up until now I still don’t know as to why I’ve done the things I did before. Maybe deep down, there’s a little tiny regret in my heart because I ended it that way– in the most unexpected, worst way. But I don’t regret that I ended it. I knew I wasn’t ready for such things and I’m just gonna hurt you further if we go on. I want you to know that there was nothing wrong with you, because it was me. Akala ko kaya ko. Alam ko naman na wala ng  bearing ‘to– because the damage has been done. But, still. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I have hurt you before. It makes me sad because I lost a very good friend and I know that even though in the near future we get to patch things up, things will never be the same. Things will never go back to the way they once were. But I guess it’s better off that way. I hope you’re okay and I wish you well, kiddo.

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