All the while I thought I have deleted BOTH of my past tumblr accounts, but yesterday as I was looking through some tumblr themes, I decided to randomly type my old account’s url, and to my surprise… it’s still there! I remember that the reason behind it’s still there was because I forgot what my email and password were… (hashtag lola problems) I used to have my email & pass “remembered” on my tumblr page so when my laptop was reformatted months ago, I never had the chance to open it again. After hours of trying several email & password combinations, I successfully got the right one! Ha! I was so happy I could jump on a unicorn (lol) So as soon as I opened it, I went through all my blog posts–which were 601 by the way. But uh most of them were just reblogs about the most random things. I also came across my personal blog posts (which were ÜBER DRAMA). As I was reading those entries, I can’t help but be relieved that those days were finally over. I was so sad and depressed back then. My old blog account reminded me so much of who I was before— Always thinking of ways on how to cheer myself up. Pessimistic optimist. Not okay but kinda alright. All the issues I had with myself, with my friends, with life, my problems. All the ups and downs I had before.
Despite everything, I’m just happy. That somehow I am no longer that über madrama girl who cries herself to sleep almost every night. The girl whose hobby was to overthink A LOT. The girl who was so emotional over the littlest of things. The girl who was so depressed & the girl who always felt like she was all alone, fighting the battle all by herself. I can’t say that I am totally (a 100%) over my old self. I still have a bit of everything from the old me. But I’m glad that I am waaaay over that phase. How do I put it? Let’s just say that I am a lot better now. I guess it really comes with age because you really mature. You realize a lot of things. You think through things before actually reacting to it. I am still me but this is a better version of myself and I’m just happy that I am the way I am now.